Crazy

This has definitely been a crazy week. I've been having flashbacks to the accident along with some awful headaches. I was supposed to have a cop call me last night to follow up with everything, but I didn't hear from him. I keep thinking the guy somehow got complications and has taken a turn for the worse. What if he died? I won't be able to live with that. I hope and pray that he is indeed okay.

The cop I was speaking with the night of the accident said that the guy would be in a lot of pain and a lot of trouble the next day. In fact, he was probably going to be arrested, as well as his girlfriend for drunk driving (on bikes though..interesting).

It's definitely one of those stories you just don't know how to respond. You don't know if you should be sympathetic or laugh because I'm the one who hit the guy, I got nothing against me, he got hurt and is going to jail. Does it make any sense at all? HaHaHa

On another note...My back has been hurting since the accident. It's hurting right now actually. My emotions have been out of whack too. I still have a lot of stuff on my plate I'm trying to figure out and trust God for while seeking advice from others.

I have to get going...I hope you're doing well, whoever you are who's reading this =)

Wow

So I had a normal day at work. Nothing too exciting....
I do have a story to tell...

On my way home, I was hungry and thinking about what I could make for dinner. I drove up to my neighborhood only to find a gray truck past the stop sign, looking like he was going to cross the street. There were no cars in the other lane, so I took it slow (make sure I didn't hit the truck or the curb). I took a slow left into my neighborhood and BAM!! What the!?!?!?!?!?! I saw white flying in the air to the right of me. I hit someone on their bike!!!!! They were riding so fast and had driven behind the gray truck. There was no way for me to see them. They didn't have any lights or anything. I hit someone. I don't know how far they flew, but thank God they flew into the grass and not under my tires.

I pulled over and immediately called 911, completely shaken up. Some people from who knows where started running over to him. I saw a crumpled body on the side of the road. I was so sick to my stomach that I had killed someone. The cops arrived first, rushing over to the limp body. Shortly after, the fire dept and paramedics arrived. I had called my mom right after I hung up with the dispatcher, so my whole family had arrived to the scene.

As I was talking to the cop, explaining that I didn't even see him, I kept looking over at the paramedics and the body (I didn't go near him at all)...I heard he fell onto his head and had a big gash over his eye... Fortunately, nothing happened that would be life threatening. The cops later informed me that he reeked of alcohol and the girl who was riding another bike (his girlfriend?) didn't even know her name or if he had been drinking.

I'm okay physically. Shaken up? Extremely! I wasn't charged with anything at all. All I got was some marks on my bumper from hitting the bike. I thank God that he'll be okay! Actually...come to think of it....my back is killing me....probably from nerves.

I wish I had a hot tub to soak in tonight....

Confusion

I just don't know what to do. It seems like there's an obvious answer in front of me, but I don't want to look at the reality of that. However, you have to look at the reality if life and what's included. Maybe my problem is looking at reality too much and trying to figure out answers.

Everything inside of me wants to go to Texas, but then again I really don't want to leave my family. I don't want to leave my dogs. I don't want to leave my home. I don't want to leave my job that I just got. I want to go to Gateway Church, I want to get to know my family up there, I want to see Shaun, I want to get out and find out who I am. But it's so far away....

So what's here for me? Is it enough to cancel out all the rest? I'm in a dangerous place right now. I can't keep drifting. I need to make up my mind and go with it. It's that first step that is often the scariest. And I think my first step will in fact be a big one...A step of something totally different than anything I've ever done or ever will do.

I wish I could have it all figured out right now...And perhaps see into my future?

New

Due to a series of unfortunate events, it may be looking like my life will be changing soon. Completely changing! I will keep you updated once I have some solid answers.....
Peace!

Greatness

How deep the Father's love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the man upon a cross
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin taht held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will nost boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

Hello

I never know what I should put in the title...

I'm working at Lowes now as a cashier. I'm still waiting to hear about my financial aid to go to college, so I'm working part time right now. I'm really enjoying it so far and I'm hoping I might make some friends there.

Besides work, there really isn't a whole lot going on. I'm just taking one day at a time, hoping for the best =)