Confusion

I just don't know what to do. It seems like there's an obvious answer in front of me, but I don't want to look at the reality of that. However, you have to look at the reality if life and what's included. Maybe my problem is looking at reality too much and trying to figure out answers.

Everything inside of me wants to go to Texas, but then again I really don't want to leave my family. I don't want to leave my dogs. I don't want to leave my home. I don't want to leave my job that I just got. I want to go to Gateway Church, I want to get to know my family up there, I want to see Shaun, I want to get out and find out who I am. But it's so far away....

So what's here for me? Is it enough to cancel out all the rest? I'm in a dangerous place right now. I can't keep drifting. I need to make up my mind and go with it. It's that first step that is often the scariest. And I think my first step will in fact be a big one...A step of something totally different than anything I've ever done or ever will do.

I wish I could have it all figured out right now...And perhaps see into my future?